On shoes, colleagues and the changing seasons

Liz‎'s footwear is now apparently her colleagues' main indicator for the change of season: "Liz - you're wearing shoes...it must be spring!" [Presume they mean as opposed to boots. Definitely have not been barefoot for the last 4 months.]

On religious colleagues and a fortune telling octopus

Liz has decided that the problem with working for the church is that people think way too much. Ridiculous conversation of the day: does Paul the octopus have a soul and will he be upset if he gets the result wrong?

On historic office paraphernalia

Liz heard a strange noise emanating from a far-corner of the office. After 5 minutes pondering and confusion, it was revealed to be a (dusty) fax machine.

On mathematical office equipment

Liz is using a calculator - an actual calculator. Proper old skool...

On new shoes versus work

Liz was overjoyed to reach her desk this morning - though this was more to do with the shoebox sat on it (containing shiny red shoes) than the excitement of another day's work.

On meetings and mothers

Liz will be spending the afternoon in a meeting with her mother. You'd be forgiven for thinking it was 'bring your parents to work' day, but no, it's just my random life...

On inadvertantly increasing carbon emissions whilst trying to reduce them

Liz is using two laptops, 3 lights and assorted other electrical appliances whilst putting together a children's activity on carbon reduction...oh the irony.

On being forced to have fun

Liz objects to enforced fun. Especially when the 'fun' is a picnic and the enforcement is having it - regardless of torrential rain showers.

On discovering that she has annoying habits

Liz constantly hums to herself at work, apparently. How has she not noticed and why has it taken her colleagues so long to complain?

On Bishops and surnames

Liz has just had her presence requested by a Nigerian Bishop, purely on the basis that he was intrigued by her surname.

On using other people's stationery

Liz has just realised the pen lid she's been chewing is from a pen that does not belong to her...and was already chewed. Ewwwwwwwww.

On apt meeting locations

Liz loves when a round-table discussion meets round a round table.

On Wimbledon & the gym

Liz has her office departure perfectly timed so she can go and watch exciting tennis at the gym. I'm right in thinking Pimms is frowned upon as an energy drink?

On the diverse cleansing properties of anti-bacterial hand gel

Liz was not impressed by the late start to her 9am meeting or by the chewing gum found stuck to her new shoes. However, she was impressed at the effectiveness of anti-bacterial hand gel as a chewing gum remover.

On abnormally cold offices

Liz is working in a fridge & determined not to put her cardi on. It's June, the sun's shining and it's hot...outside.

On important presentations

Liz is writing the script for her primary school assembly...sorry, very important team meeting. Should she be taking it a bit more seriously?

On wanting to kill colleagues

Liz is in the kind of mood where creating a game of MCH cluedo seems like an excellent idea...

On swine flu precautions (#2)

Liz is now the antiseptic hand-gel monitor for the 3rd floor.

On restricted movement

Liz should remember the restrictions imposed on movement whilst tethered to her laptop via headphones.

On emergency situations

Liz has safely negotiated multiple police cordons and an emergency evacuation of the office. Did somebody say bomb?